Why call it love when they mean sex

The phrase "why call it love if you mean sex?" Usually expressed when someone feels a strong lust, infatuation and disguises or special connection.

love mean sex

The phrase "why call it love if you mean sex?" Usually expressed when someone feels a strong lust, infatuation and disguises or special connection.

It often happens, but the opposite phenomenon also exists and is becoming increasingly common, especially among young adults: secure with disdain sex is sought only when actually there is an intense desire, conscious or unconscious, of loving connection.

In the most extensive review ( pdf ) of scientific studies and sociological studies on the characteristics and constraints of the " hook-up culture "(casual sex without commitment), Justin Garcia of the Kinsey Institute cites a study showing that 65% of women and 45% of men admit that in his last hookup (occasional one night stand) actually were hoping that this meeting could lead to a more stable relationship. Even 51% of girls and 42% of men openly discussed that possibility after the affair allegedly agreed as casual.

Justin Garcia and Estupinyà a bar
of Indiana University (Bloomington)
In fact Justin also cites another study with 681 college-age adults, where 63% of boys and 83% of girls reported at that time preferred a traditional romantic relationship to a sexual without compromise.

And in another study published by Justin himself in 2008, when asked about the motivation for hookups, 89% of boys and girls responded physical gratification, but also 54% emotional and 51% attempt to start a romantic relationship. Justin is very clear: " the normalization of casual sex among young people is one of the most notorious recent changes in sexual behavior in Western societies. But in reality these sporadic encounters often want more than sex . "

Read Cosmopolitan contributes to more casual sex
True that the boundaries of casual sex and had widened from 50 with the pill, the near elimination of syphilis by penicillin, easier access to condoms, and the resulting sexual revolution that freed 60 of fears and openly a generation. But the emergence of AIDS in the 80 decreased susceptibility to sex with strangers, and the question "casual sex now more than ever?" Is either invalid.

In his review presents Justin amount of data to say that very clearly (at least in American society), and focuses on two phenomena that are generating a new sexual revolution among young people: First of the age at which men and women say they feel prepared to sentimental establish long-term commitments has widened greatly, not wishing to give up sex in his years of higher energy.

But second, and more crucial as Justin is much greater acceptance of casual sex in the media and popular culture.

When we say that American society is very puritanical it does not allow the bare minimum on television, is not entirely true. "Contradictory" would be a better adjective. In their series or reality shows do not actually see a breast, but a total sample of uncommitted sex as normal, positive, desirable, and no moral distinction between boys and girls. And this itself is a significant change from previous decades. Messages arriving now the girls encourage them to act freely without the restrictions of yesteryear macho, and to consider casual sex as a completely valid option that need not be ashamed.

An interesting study published in 2012 supports this hypothesis: 160 university students were recruited and separated into two homogeneous groups. One group was asked to read texts about relationships and sexual encounters explicit extracted from the women's magazine Cosmopolitan , while the other group read texts unrelated topics.

Some time later a test of attitudes toward sexuality was performed and it was found that those who were exposed to the contents of Cosmopolitan were clearly more inclined to argue that women should seek sexual satisfaction by his own desire, and saw less risk in casual sexual encounters.

The study is open to criticism but it reinforces the basic message of Justin: messages about casual sex than teenagers and young people receive from the media and society are very different now than a few decades ago, and are contributing to the boom of the hookup culture and the increasingly smaller difference between boys and girls.

" One of our most significant results was not found significant differences between genders "explains Justin Garcia, referring to surveys indicating that attitudes toward casual sex for men and women are closer than they thought, more women need to seek without repairs sexual satisfaction without compromise, while more men recognize desired emotional component attached to casual sex.

As an anthropologist and evolutionary biologist Justin argues that our sexual instincts are strongly influenced by natural selection, but recognizes that the evolutionary logic is extremely simplistic and falls short to explain the diversity and complexity of sexual behavior in westernized societies.

Negative consequences? Casual sex?

In one study (Owen et al) published in 2010 with 832 students, 49% of girls and 26% of boys reported a negative emotional reaction regarding his latest hookup, while only 26% of girls and 50% of boys declared satisfied.

The author wanted to explore the reasons for these differences and followed 394 young people during a semester. Observed a curious fact: in people with more depressive symptoms and feelings of loneliness casual sex improving your mood, but those with rich social life and lower levels of depression, it made them worse hookup.

Justin believes that in general the hookup effects seem to be more positive than negative, as it increases the well-being and satisfaction. But he warns that emotions are confusing and cites a study showing that 72% of university recognized repenting of a hookup at least once, 23% never, and 3% many.

In another vein, although inconceivable, a study of 1468 college students revealed that only 46% claimed to have used a condom at last casual sex relationship.Justin points to alcohol as a factor in understanding these data. In fact cites that 67% of hookups occur in college parties and that 64% of girls who had casual sex did after consuming significant amounts of alcohol.

Basic Terminology for free in USA

Americans put all names and acronyms, some peculiar sea. A " hookup "is equivalent to" one night stand "and refers to the classic one-night unpremeditated that occurs without any of the parties has the intention of starting a relationship, and whose sole purpose is sexual divertimento transitional .

A " fuck buddy "would be a" sex buddy "with which, without any pretense of friendship, sometimes you" booty calls "fancy calling openly when and if to be free to go straight to the point. It goes without saying that you should not share intimacy or emotions for that complicates it.

When physical attraction arises between friends but no pretense of dating can become FWB or " friends with benefits "which seríasn typical" friends with benefits "but with much more defined and put in place rules.

Indeed, in reviewing Justin Garcia states that 36% of college students who had a FWB remained friends after stop having sex, 29% completed as much sex as friendship, and the rest were still holding meetings or had begun a romantic relationship.

If things get complicated you may request an NSA relationship (really used the acronym and say " I want a NSA relationship "deadpan leaving). Refer to " No Strings Attached "(a relationship without ties) to specify from the beginning yes intended to spend time together and some emotional exchange, but no commitments or obligations or definidito exclusividad.Todo well.

Of the various other terms associated with casual sex to me as particularly funny the " walk of shame "or" walk of shame ". Typically being a Sunday breakfast on the terrace and being told " look, that's a walk of shame! "pointing to a girl with heels, sleepwear and broken up revealing that he did not sleep at home. (The term is sexist because in boys live more like a walk proud-proud of that shame).

Sex without commitment can love you ... or were already in love before?

To recap, Justin Garcia says that one in 3 or 4 planned as strictly casual sexual encounters ending in more lasting relationship. And sure many of you / as will have experienced some unexpected love story after a fling that seemed irrelevant.

The explanation that science tends to give that "random" Infatuation is when the sex is good, after orgasm large amounts of oxytocin are released, a substance also called "love hormone" secreted when generates a welfare state and feeling of attachment to the person next to you.

This chemical acts, no doubt. But reading the data from " Sexual hookup culture: A review "rather seems that, even disguising after that claim sex was untethered and a predisposition to consciously or unconsciously create stronger knots. Why then call it sex when really mean love  ...?



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Albasun: Why call it love when they mean sex
Why call it love when they mean sex
The phrase "why call it love if you mean sex?" Usually expressed when someone feels a strong lust, infatuation and disguises or special connection.
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